Finding the Feminine Balance in the Copywriting Industry
When embarking on a healing journey, I started seeing the term “divine feminine.”
Feminine…
That word had brought up negative connotations for me. In the past, I saw feminine traits as passive, weak, small, and quiet. Not getting things done. Not worthy.
Not only was I completely wrong, but this was actually a pretty blatant smack in the face, showing me that I had to look more closely at why I was so judgy.
An 80s classic relegated to an antique shop 🫣
It turns out that I spent most of my life operating from masculine energy.
I also noticed that I felt more comfortable around men and other women who acted like men.
Looking back to childhood, I saw the threads…
Where my grandparents would call me “Jake” as a kid
Wearing pants, playing sports, and being called a tomboy
Some family members would say that I was the son they never had
I was an athlete, the tallest in the class until ninth grade, and often got picked first for teams in school
Acquiring the nickname “Wally” from my parents
When my teenage appetite kicked in, my parents called me “Hoover” and “Moose”
I have no idea why these masculine themes were infiltrating my life. On the flip side, sure, I played with Barbies, Jem, Rainbow Brite, and She-Ra, painted my nails, wore makeup as soon as I could, loved making art, donned dresses, and did plenty of “girly” things.
Making money and getting ahead with masculine energy
My first job, Canadian Tire. For the non-Canadians scratching your head about what this is… picture a slightly better Walmart with a large automotive parts and service section where shoppers wear actual pants (depending on the neighborhood). I started at 15, as soon as I was legally allowed to work — as a cashier, then tried on all the other departments. I’d end up working in the automotive parts department. Where I recall during one of my first shifts helping out, a manager said, “Girls can’t work back here.”
Watch me.
I shadowed the guys who knew about auto parts, listened to their conversations, asked a million questions, and learned everything I could. Eventually, I transferred and got a slight pay increase.
Next, I moved over to the automotive service department. This was a big jump for a teenage girl. Instead of just selling car parts and helping the service department with getting the right parts for the shop, I’d work with customers who needed service or repair for their vehicles.
My main driver for working in the service department — I’d make more money. I also loved a good challenge. As a high schooler and later college student working my way through college to graduate debt-free, I’d rise to the challenge.
It was not an easy job. Most people aren’t happy when coming in because their car is broken. Also, in a male-dominated industry, customers sometimes ignored me at the service counter. The male service advisors would have a lineup of customers waiting to talk to them and I’d be standing there waiting for something to do.
The men I worked with there were great, though. When one customer came up to me asking if there was a man he could talk to, Ron, who many accused of being geriatric and crusty, looked up from his stack of work orders and told the customer as he nodded in my direction, “You want to talk to her, she taught me everything I know.”
Thanks, Ron.
Only later to become my dad’s business partner and drinking buddy. We’d meet at the bar for lunch or a beer, usually once a week, and I’d chat with some of his friends — mostly men. Occasionally, the old guys’ wives would join.
We started a secret shopper business focused on the automotive service industry. I’d play dumb and bring a car in with a problem I created (like letting some air out of a tire or loosening some alternator bolts). I’d bring the car in, observe every detail, and write a report on the entire experience — from customer service to whether or not mechanics uncovered the correct problem to anything I overheard while in the waiting room.
Later, before I moved to the US, I worked in more male-dominated fields, like the Canadian Tire auto parts depot call center and, eventually, their corporate offices.
Once in corporate America, I worked in management consulting, where our primary clients were the US government. My peers were 90 percent male. The government agencies we worked with often had more women working there than men. And every woman I worked with though, was there because they were good at acting like a man to get things done.
As I was climbing the corporate ladder, I noticed the theme.
The message: “Do what the guys do to get ahead.”
Got it.
And that’s exactly what I did. I was good at corporate life. I saw what I needed to do and pushed to get it done. I rarely worked more than 40-50 hours a week, though. I was efficient.
There was a lady at my company, a partner. Skinny and blond with a super short haircut. Everyone knew her as a jerk. She’d meet you half a dozen times at company events and never remember your name. She was too busy for names.
Pantsuit, severe hair, that get-ahead-no-time-for-chit-chat-brisk walk.
When I was very pregnant with my first kid, she and I were the only two people in the break room one morning. She looked at me, then glanced down at my growing belly and said,
“Don’t worry about working too much when they’re young, they won’t remember it anyway.”
Ugh. I do not want to be that kind of mother. I also felt sorry for her kids.
I resolved right there that I’d never be that kind of mother.
But I didn’t have other job options at the time. Starting my own business wasn't even a thought back then. And I knew being a full-time stay-at-home mother wasn’t for me either.
Having kids changed things. As expected. And in many unexpected ways. I was laid off from that job when my son was one. Most of the single guys kept their jobs. Of course, no one could say anything about that out loud. But I could see what was going on.
And the thing is, I’m not mad about it. We have one opportunity to mother our kids. And by getting laid off not once, but three times — when the kids were young, gave me three bonus maternity leaves. Turned out God was giving both my kids and me the time we needed.
I later returned to that masculine job at the consulting company after layoff number two. By now, I had two kids and a creative outlet (I had just started my plant-based food blog).
Shortly after returning, my boss looked at me, saying,
“Something’s different about you, but I can’t put my finger on it.”
“It’s my feminine showing. I changed.”
I didn’t recognize it at the time, but by birthing life and a new creative project, I was shifting into more feminine energy.
The divine feminine and divine masculine need each other. One can’t exist alone. Regardless of gender, we all have both energies — they might not be perfectly balanced (which I could clearly see in my case).
Pregnancy is a time when we’re reminded of the power of the creator (the feminine). I didn’t have to tell my babies to grow fingernails. I didn't have to micromanage and control the process of developing their vital organs. I surrendered and trusted that my body knew what to do.
“And once you see and act from your true light, you are living your purpose, you are expanding the light in the universe, you are contributing to the balance of the Divine Feminine with the Divine Masculine, and you are guiding others to find their way ‘home’ to that inner heaven just by occupying the frequency of your own LIGHT.” Liana Shanti
What does the feminine need to be present and powerful?
To feel supported, cared for, and safe — the masculine protects
An open heart, mind, and body
The opportunity, time, and stability to do the work we’re called to do
Healing the legacy of sexual repression and wounds
It’s important to note that this is not about the duality of feminism. I never jived with mommy groups that sat around complaining about their husbands and kids, the women’s groups at work, and the generally angry, marching in hats with female body parts on them, but not looking inside to heal their own wounds. Instead of pointing fingers outside, channel that valuable energy into inner healing — doing the actual inner work.
Reading books and blogs without doing the real work is like driving past the gym and saying you had a good workout. You have to look inside.
One of the best ways to keep looking inside is journaling — especially morning pages. Writing is healing. To heal, we write.
Balancing the masculine and feminine is a dance. Sometimes, one wants to take the lead, and that’s fine. We’ll always have one energy that’s more dominant. But in my case, I was completely rejecting anything to do with the feminine. And today, now I’m consciously allowing the feminine to come through. And it’s pretty fucking powerful to watch what I can create when I’m allowing, surrendering, and importantly, not trying to control.
Masculine qualities:
logic
confidence
focus
strength
stable
clear
assertive
Feminine qualities:
intuitive
generous
nurturing
receiving
creative
collaborative
receptive
feeling
wild
To dig deeper into these topics, Liana Shanti articulates them beautifully in these articles on sexual power, the feminine core, and divorcing from feminism.
I wrote and edited my recent book, Intuitive Writing: The Remedy for Writer’s Block and the Secret to Authentic Communication, balancing this energy. And have discovered that when we balance creation through masculine and feminine, the push, the pull, the initiating, the allowing, it makes writing so much easier — and is a much more sustainable way to find our writing flow.
Where are the divine feminine role models in the copywriting industry?
When I first started learning about copywriting in 2013, there were a few women teaching about marketing and writing. At the time, I didn’t realize this, but they were acting from masculine energy. Much like I was. Then, there are all the men in copywriting. Last year I uncovered a series (that I won’t link to), that was summarizing the best advice of “copywriting gurus.” The gurus — 99% men with one woman in the room. A woman who clearly fit in with the boys.
Where are the women?
There’s science to copywriting. And there’s also art. When I see the men teaching copywriting strategies, they’re all about their “proven systems.” But I’ve never written from this point of view. Yes, there are components that great sales copy needs. And rules are for breaking, too.
I’ve paid attention to the formulas, and then threw them out the window. The best, most authentic copy, is the copy that’s written from the heart. The brain gets involved too — but that’s later.
Intuitive writing isn’t some airy-fairy, woo bullshit. It’s co-creating with God, the Divine, Jesus. How could any copy we write be better than what the creator created? Why would we co-create with anything else?
Men and women write differently from one another. I can spot it instantly. With the women I work with, most of their clients are also women — so why would you learn how to write copy from a man?
I’ve been teaching copywriting to business owners for almost a decade. And now, I’m excited to teach the business of copywriting to copywriters. In a fully soul-led, authentic, co-created, feminine way.
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