10 Lessons From Being Laid Off 3 Times in 5 Years
Since President Trump took office for the second round in 2025, his administration has been uncovering roles that are no longer needed. There are no real ways to sugarcoat the loss of jobs. Many people are outraged, “But those people and those jobs!”
I get it. I’ve been one of those people a few times. And now, I’m grateful for the experiences.
Are we really saying people should keep their jobs if they’re not performing or not needed?
Sounds like a breeding ground for mediocrity.
I’ve been laid off three times in five years.
Ouch, right? It only hurts the first time. Two of these layoffs were on the heels of a presidential administration change. As a consultant who worked with federal agencies, our firm expected these shake-ups after every election. Mass layoffs happen regardless of whether a Democrat or a Republican takes office.
If you’re reading this because you were just laid off, downsized, right-sized, considered redundant, or reorganized (there are way too many ways to describe this), I feel you. It sucks at first. And through these experiences, I’ve discovered a huge opportunity and gift in the lessons they offer.
Layoff #1 – 2009
I’d been working for a Chicago-based management consulting firm for five years on big US and state Government projects. I had just returned to work following a four-month maternity leave around the time Obama took office. Government spending on contractors was cut, and the company lost a few important projects.
I had no idea what to expect when my Managing Director called me into his office shortly after lunch. When I got there, there was another dude in there, who I learned was from HR. I was like a deer in headlights, and I was in total shock for the next 15 minutes and the following weeks.
I returned to my desk, stunned. They told me to take my time and gather my things. I later came to appreciate how they let me do this with grace and dignity. Unlike layoff number two. I gathered everything I could fit in my bag and tossed the rest. I didn’t say goodbye to anyone. I sent a few emails to let some of my friends and coworkers know, and booked it out of there on the next train. I held my shit together until I got home. I didn’t pick up my son from daycare yet because I needed to process this business first. I fell apart in a ball of snotty, crying mess on the floor. I felt like such a loser. I was angry, “Why me?”— I wished I’d quit first.
It’s important to note that I never blamed the government for this layoff. It was simply a change.
Layoff #2 – 2012
After the first layoff, my husband, one-year-old son, and I moved to Canada. I’m from the Toronto area, and my hubby is from New York. I figured we have a baby now — we should live closer to my family. Always up for an adventure, instead of looking for jobs in Chicago, I looked in Toronto instead. I landed a job in Crisis Communications at BlackBerry pretty quickly and worked there for three years. During this time, I birthed another baby, a daughter, and a few months after returning from maternity leave, guess what happened? Since BlackBerry is a high-profile company, news trucks lined the streets on days when layoffs were happening.
Getting laid off is one thing.
Having it happen and greeting news trucks outside? Let me just say I hope that never happens to you.
I knew it in my body that it was my day. That morning, I intuitively packed my personal laptop and a spare BlackBerry, and that morning, I told everyone, “If we get shit-canned today, I’ll meet you at Starbucks.” A bunch of them met me there.
When a Director came to our desks and called two of us to follow him, I knew it was happening. We wiped our phones while trodding along behind him. When we landed in a conference room with a bunch of envelopes on the table, I knew what was up. I’ve done this before. It’s like getting on a bike for your second time, but not quite as cool. My coworker was crying, but I was stone-faced. “How much is severance?” Our manager was apologizing on the way out the door, and he was stunned when, instead, I apologized to him. I told him I couldn’t imagine being in his position today and wished him a better rest of the day.
My husband had an opportunity at a Chicago start-up and was traveling back and forth between Chicago and Toronto when I was let go from BlackBerry. That layoff was the trigger to put the rest of our plan in motion. I called my old boss to see what was new. “Oh, we just won some massive contracts; when can you come back?”
Me: “Give me a month.” No joke — we sold our home for a tidy profit, found a place in Chicago, and made an international move in four weeks with two kids, now and our two dogs. We don’t mess around.
Layoff #3 – 2014
At first, it was a little weird being back at the place where I was let go in 2009. It was like going back to a bad boyfriend. Until the rest of the team was hired back, too — then it was like the old days. We had big government work this time, thanks to a few more big government projects, and life was good. Up until we lost a few big contracts (again), and they let the whole team go, and then some — again.
I knew it was likely, and I had been looking for another job. For a few years, I’d been toying with the idea of building my OWN business — because, seriously, I wanted the next time to be on my terms.
When I received a 2:10 pm meeting invitation on a Tuesday (layoffs are almost always on a Monday or Tuesday) from a Managing Director I hardly knew, and arrived in the conference room to see somber faces, I literally laughed out loud. I told them to stop explaining — I knew the drill. I asked, “How much is severance, and when is it paid?” They looked at me like I was crazy.
Another layoff following an administration change. I add this note only to demonstrate how frequent it happens.
Instead of being upset about being laid off. This time, I felt free.
On the way home, I stopped at the grocery store and bought an expensive bottle of wine, some good salty dark chocolate, and flowers. I actually skipped. I didn’t have the standard three months of salary saved up, didn’t come from a wealthy family, and had plenty of debt and bills.
I wasn’t afraid. I knew, deep in my soul, that I’d be okay.
Now, the important lessons from three layoffs:
Honor the emotions. Feel the emotions that are coming up. Let yourself feel them fully, then move into Get Shit Done (GSD) mode and reach out to everyone you know.
Look for another job IMMEDIATELY. Even if you have four months of severance pay, that’s roughly how long it was from pink slip to new employee orientation at a new job every time.
Apply for unemployment insurance IMMEDIATELY. We pay for it, after all, and you need to apply right away because it takes a while to kick in. Don’t feel weird about it; just do it.
Enjoy it. Especially if you have severance pay. I enjoyed the unexpected extra time with my kids. I think it was God’s way of giving me a longer maternity leave, the time my kids actually needed.
Start a side hustle. If you get your pink slip, your side hustle could become your full-time income, or it could help you build your savings account and save your ass when the time comes. I did NOT do this in advance, and I wish I had. This way, if you find yourself jobless, you can have enough momentum going on the side that you can quickly sweep in and shift your focus while keeping your bank account healthy.
Know that it’s not personal. Big layoffs come down to a percentage on a spreadsheet. You’re a number to a large company. It’s not personal, so don’t take it personally.
No one is layoff-proof. This deserves repeating. NO ONE IS LAYOFF PROOF. You can be extremely valuable and well-liked, but it all comes down to a percentage on a spreadsheet. The old school thinking of getting a job and working there until you die is dead.
There’s no such thing as job security. When people say their job offers them “stability,” I completely disagree. It provides you with a routine and a paycheck — until it doesn’t.
Always be prepared for a layoff. Have a plan that includes a pre- and post-layoff budget. Outline what subscriptions and services you’ll cancel the moment the “trigger” is pulled. This also means your LinkedIn profile and resume should ALWAYS be ready. Here are some tips for crafting a standout headline.
Your job doesn’t define you. When we use a role to define who we are, the blow hurts when we lose it. If you’re not identifying yourself and basing your self-worth on your job, you won’t feel like a piece of you was lost when you lose your job. This is the work of letting the ego die. It’s a lot of work, and it’s worth it.
When layoffs happen, trust that a better, more aligned something is on its way.
Layoffs happen for a reason. It’s the universe’s way of offering you a better opportunity, pointing you in a different direction — and hopefully giving you a severance package while you figure it out. I left my last job on my terms in 2017 when I decided it was time.
Even if you don’t feel that you’ll be okay just yet — that’s also okay. Writing is tremendously healing. I suggest journaling through it with pen and paper. Allow whatever wants to flow onto the page to show up. Let yourself feel the emotions fully and honor the grief and shame, so that you can move through it.
Here are some writing prompts for you to explore:
List 5 things you see in the room that are blue.
List 3 things you hear.
List 1 thing you can smell.
What makes you angry about your industry?
What do you believe to be true?
What do you absolutely NOT want to be known for?
What do you want to be known for?
What lights you up?
What are people always asking your advice on?
What advice do you actually enjoy giving?
What would people be surprised to know about you?
You want to create a world that…
Thinking of starting your own business or side hustle? Grab the exact emails I used to start and grow my writing business.
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