76: The Labels We Wear: Vera Milan Gervais on Rewriting Identity and Confidence
Vera Milan Gervais: Trading Defective Labels for Your Soul-Wordz
I was so excited to welcome Vera Milan Gervais, author of The Wordz We Wear: How to Show Up with Confidence and Create Your Best Life. Vera and I dove deep into her writing journey, starting with her childhood memories of hiding in books.
Vera’s book explores the powerful concept that words are labels—much like clothing—and that they actually affect how we show up—including our Actions, Behaviors, and Choices (she calls these the ABCs).
It’s amazing how simply changing just one word can transform your identity, as she did when she claimed the powerful label of "adventurous introvert".
She opened up about her writing process, including how she had to step away from justifying her book with medical research and instead lean into emotion and storytelling. She calls her writing process a "patchwork quilt" that came together through interviews with 33 women.
We also touched on the unique container she created for writing: dedicating five-hour blocks on Saturday and Sunday mornings while her husband plays golf—making her a proud "golf writer."
I hope you enjoy this exploration of personal growth, the importance of practice over perfection, and the continuous process of becoming your best self.
Key Takeaways:
Identity isn’t fixed. Embrace the continuous cycle of "be, believe, become," where you embody who you’re capable of becoming and leading to the next level of your identity.
Words are labels that define and confine you, just like clothes. Changing a single word (like Vera did, from "introvert" to "adventurous introvert") can change how you show up in the world.
Success is an emotion for women. Most women describe success using words like "freedom," "flexibility," or "joy," rather than traditional markers like money or power.
Confidence is an intentional practice. Choose to do difficult things to continually learn how and build confidence for the future.
Trust your instincts over research. When writing her book, Vera realized she was hiding what she wanted to say in research and had to let go of 75% of her initial draft to trust her own emotional truth.
Create a large, dedicated container for writing. Even if you're not writing the entire time, having a five-hour block of "activation time" allows for research, pondering, drawing, and moving Post-it notes.
Timestamps:
00:00 Meet Vera
00:51 Books and Hiding
03:31 Writer Dreams Detoured
06:37 The Spark Behind Wordz
09:47 Defective Label Shift
15:02 Themes From 33 Women
17:50 Writing the Book
24:35 Weekend Golf Writer
29:34 Coauthoring and Substack Writing
33:47 TED Talk Insights
36:07 Next Books
37:01 Tea Writing Ritual
Links from today’s episode:
Vera Milan Gervais’s Book: The Wordz We Wear: How to Show Up with Confidence and Create Your Best Life
Explore Vera’s website, connect with her on LinkedIn, and read on Substack
Meet Vera Milan Gervais:
Vera Milan Gervais [My-lan Jer-vay] is a keynote and TEDx speaker, author, award-winning businesswoman and success mentor who helps women develop confidence. Her Wordz We Wear® programs inspire women to challenge limiting labels and embrace their innate talents and leadership skills.
She’s an adventurous introvert who has jumped from a helicopter into the ocean, faced a Python on safari, built businesses with her husband, and explored all seven continents – despite a birth defect, multiple surgeries, and chronic pain.
An entrepreneur with over 30 years of business experience, Vera has been named a Woman of Distinction and twice nominated as a Woman of Influence. She’s a proud mother of two who lives near the ocean in New Brunswick, Canada, with her husband Marcel and 100 pairs of earrings.
