The Unfussy Life Is About Living a Surrendered Life

Writing and publishing my book, Unfussy Life, has been an important personal and professional milestone. 

First, it was hard. Like, one of the most challenging processes I’ve ever taken part in. Writing that book, especially the rewriting, revising, and editing, took a lot out of me. So much so that it took three years from the time I started the SFD (shitty first draft) during one NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) to the time I finally published it. 

I wanted to procrastinate on publishing my book too. I wondered, “Do I really want this out there? Half of my thoughts have changed already. Should I revise those chapters again?”

I published the book just six weeks after my family’s biggest move to date, when we moved from New Jersey to Florida in March 2021. Now, even though I’ve moved many times (14 moves in 18 years, to be exact), it still takes a toll. Physically from the packing, sorting, donating, cleaning, home selling, and research. Not to mention everything that comes once you’ve landed in your new spot.

And mentally — did we choose the right town? Is this rental going to work out? And, of course, emotionally. Selling the New Jersey home that we deemed “the covid house” because we moved in on February 15, 2020, excited to have friends and family visit, meet our neighbors, and enjoy all the goodness of having a neighborhood full of kids and friends. 

Well, we all know what happened a month later.

Leaving the house that we spent way more time in than we would have dreamed was sad. We thought it would be the home the kids finished growing up in — the one they‘d leave to go to college. 

We listed it for sale just ten months later. No one could have predicted that. Saying goodbye to that house at 3:00 am to hit the I-95 and head to Florida was exciting, sad, scary, and exhausting. What if we made a mistake? Was this the right move?

There was so much I wanted to explore and process, and it was right at the finishing stages of getting my book out there. I could have added a chapter on the move — I certainly had a lot to say about it. 

But I stopped myself. How many things would change before I’d be okay publishing it? This is one big reason so many people leave their books as a work in progress. 

I talked to my editor about it, and she agreed. Save the Florida moving story for another time. I blogged about it here. 

When we announced to friends and family that we were moving (again), some didn’t believe us. But many know that we do what we say we will. Every move was for something better. It was another stop on the journey of constant life improvement.

The lessons in unfussy living wouldn’t stop just because I published my book. And the most common question I get from people on interviews, podcasts, and even when they discover my book is this, 

“What does it mean to live an unfussy life?

My response changes — I don't have a canned response that I share each time. My answer varies because life varies. 

As I thought about this recently, with Unfussy Life’s first book birthday happening in April 2022, the answer hit me at 3:39 a.m. I was jolted awake. 

The Unfussy Life is about living a surrendered life. 

I could have dug my heels in and made New Jersey work for our family (or New York, Chicago, or Indianapolis, or Toronto), but that’s not where we were being guided at the time. 

How many times do we all get nudges to make a change?

• change a job

• change a diet

• change a relationship

• leave a partner

• heck, even try a new dish at your favorite restaurant

• and, of course, move to a new town, state, country, and even continent

It’s about following those nudges. I didn't lay out this path I’ve been on. Instead, I take action in the direction of what I feel is the right thing, and I’m quickly shown the next step. 

Surrendering means allowing. 

Surrender means being okay with not knowing. 

It’s trusting in how things will unfold.

Surrender is about giving up control of the outcomes. 

It’s not about sitting around and manifesting all day, hoping good things will happen. It’s letting go of the attachment to what the outcome looks like. 

It’s also not about giving up on things that are important. 

Surrendering meant I’d put Unfussy Life out when it was ready — which was just at the right time.

Surrendering means I hear what my audience needs, and I deliver it — often if it puts other work to the side or rearranges what I thought I’d be working on. 

Unfussy Life turns one on April 12, 2022. My biggest wish for this book is that it would grow old in its own time, reaching who it needs to reach based on its own agenda, not mine. 

Happy book birthday, Unfussy Life.

Grab your copy here. You can even order a special signed hardcover version if you’re in the US.