my very own brand of perfectionism
I’ll get around to it.
I’ll do it later.
I didn’t get it done today.
I’ll do it tomorrow.
I just don’t have the time right now.
Sound like you?
This isn’t about finding the time, making the time, or some new project or task management plan.
It has to do with procrastination — as it relates to perfectionism.
If you can’t take a perfect action, you’ll take no action.
The other day, I was having a conversation with some business owner friends. We were talking about what makes people avoid getting their writing done and out there — on their websites, blogs, books, proposals, pitches — you name it.
Every time, it’s perfectionism holding people back.
I’ve heard this story before, and yet, I never personally identified with it.
Back in my corporate days, I’d sit up straight and confidently announce that my “weakness” was perfectionism. You know, making it sound like my obsession with getting things right was a strength, and that’s why they should hire me.
It worked back then, but it doesn’t work for me anymore.
And in this conversation with my friends, I announced, “Oh, I’ve never really been a perfectionist, I write stuff, give it a quick review (sometimes), then publish it.
The next day, I had a huge insight. I’d heard it before, but this time, I had a holy shit moment.
Half-assing your work is a form of perfectionism.
My personal brand of perfectionism:
Kinda, sorta launching the Unfussy Writing Community in just a week or two without an actual plan — so if no one joined, then I can chalk it up to it being because I didn’t try that hard
Intentionally choosing low targets so that I know I can hit them
Watering down my words in case I offend someone
If I set a teensy goal, I get to say I met it and it was a breeze.
And even more, I get to keep my “perfect” image up.
Like most of us, this started for me in grade school. School came very easily for me. I got straight As, rarely studied, did my homework on the day I got it, listened in class, raised my hand, and did all the things I was supposed to do. In return I brought home tokens of my enough-ness in the form of pats on the back and good grades.
All in the name of validation and people-pleasing.
Perfectionism
Procrastination
People-pleasing
It’s the perfect trifecta of avoiding shame, blame, and judgment.
It’s why when I published my first website, I blogged five days a week for the first few months to show up like I knew what I was doing.
But most importantly, I had to make it look easy.
This is fucked up. I only realize this now, as I’m seeing 40 candles in the next six months.
On the surface, I was out in the world showing everyone how easy it was for me to write my food blog while having a full-time corporate job, and two young kids.
What you would have seen if you creeped my living room window though, was me with my laptop, writing and creating — and not for creation’s sake, but for perception. So that I could appear perfect. As if I had it all together.
Here’s what perfection can look like for business owners:
Tweaking website copy for months instead of putting it out there
Hiring experts only to chalk it up to them not understanding you, so you leave your work in a Google Drive and blame everyone else
Waiting to publish a newsletter because you’re not sure what to say or you’re worried you’ll be bothering people
Spending hours each day staring at your blog post, email, or sales page tweaking every last thing
I get it. So many of us have our very own brand of perfectionism. Mine (and yours too) just might be a little less obvious.
I’m a work in progress and I’m here with you doing the work.
It’s why my book, Unfussy Life took 3+ years to get out of my brain and onto the page, and why I’m writing this to you here instead of doing the hefty revisions on my next book draft (I’ll do it later). See what I’m doing now?
I’ve made some progress in some areas though. If I notice a typo on one of my blog posts or social media posts today, I’ll probably ignore it.
And the people who point out my mistakes — they’re definitely not my ideal clients.
Like the one Instagrammer who messaged me after she found a mistake in an Instagram post and said, “...as a writing coach, you don’t want mistakes in your copy!”
I guess she didn’t know what kind of writing coach I am. As in, I’m not the kind with a red pen. More like a bottle of chilled champagne ready to pop the cork every time one of my clients finishes their work and hits publish. Yes, we celebrate a lot!
When business owners join an Unfussy Writing Community session for the first time, they’re often worried. They say they’re nervous about someone critiquing their writing. I understand it can feel extremely vulnerable to share your work with a stranger on the internet and stay open to feedback.
Here’s what I tell them:
There’s no critique around here. If I notice a typo or an opportunity to make it stronger, as your writing coach, I’ll let you know and give you the option to fix it. I’m completely detached from my suggestions — if you ignore them, I’m not offended.
Feedback is always direct and kind.
My job as head Unfussy Writer is simple: Keep you going.
I want you to publish your website, blog, sales page that’s 80% good (you’ll learn and tweak it anyway).
I want you to take a shitty first draft (SFD), quickly edit, and publish it.
I want you to take imperfect action — over and over and over.
I want you to publish, iterate, and tweak. It’s the only way.
I want you to ignore typos and mistakes in other people’s work. We only seem to criticize people who seem to be further along than us.
Stay in your lane, eyes on your paper, and keep writing (and publishing).
The world doesn’t need your perfect prose. It needs your words. It needs you to create the impact you want to see in the world.
There are probably typos and mistakes in here. That’s cool. Everything will be okay.
If you enjoyed this article, you’ll enjoy these too:
