what to do when your to-list makes you want to puke
Business owners inside the writing community have been trying out a new practice I shared.
Just one day after I shared this story, I received a voice message after she had tried this just once.
She said it changed her life and helped her to feel empowered and productive.
Whoah! I realized I was onto something here.
It’s called…
THE MENU
Fancy I know. Remember menus?
Here’s how it all started…
With the kids 6 weeks (or 45?) or so into distance learning and the fancy schedule landing in the recycle bin by day 1, hour 2, we’d been in a groove.
Weekdays look like this:
Wake up and eat (and I taught them how to make their own breakfasts)
Schoolwork
Movement
Read for an hour
Journal
Chores
After 1 pm - screen time
This was working quite well and then with “spring break” (whatever that means) and no distance learning we had to fill in some gaps.
I spent Monday morning writing a gorgeous (to me) to-do list.
It had some things for them to do:
Math - 1 hour
Read for an hour
Watch a documentary and tell me what you learned
Make a picture about what you read earlier
They groaned, slumped their shoulders and went back to bed. And my kids aren’t even sleepers.
All in the name of them staying off screens until 1 pm (a boundary we set around here these days).
Then, I reframed the list for them.
“Consider the list a menu and use this as a list of ideas for what you can do (outside of chores and screen time starting).”
They dropped their shoulders and the color returned to the face.
Big exhale.
Yes! A parenting win!
I shared this story with the Unfussy Writing Community later that morning and some folks loved it.
A menu is fun because it's a list of things you could possibly do. Think of it like a restaurant menu. You're not going to eat the whole thing (well maybe, and no judgment here). But you'll choose the items that will fill you up or satisfy you most.
Some folks have been testing it out and have even brought their own menus to our writing sessions.
Why you might like a menu instead of a to-do list:
A to-do list makes you want to puke
Your Myers Briggs personality type ends in a P (meaning Perceiver). The other letter your personality type would end with is a J (I’m an INFJ and to-do lists are my jam — I looooove a good list). You can find out your personality type free at 16personalities.com
Your list is super long and it makes you feel heavy, panicky, or tired just reading it
If you feel like you wrestle with your to-do list, feeling like you should have a plan, and you should start everything that you finish like yesterday
And if you like to see some details or know more, here’s how to make a menu:
Write "menu" at the top of a page and choose the ones that you want to do most in whatever order you like
Write a new menu for tomorrow, including any you didn’t finish today
Throw out the old menu
Have fun with your menu! Just like at a restaurant when you’d have fun and order a few small plates, or live life on the edge and order dessert first.
And if you give it a try, let me know! I’d love to hear how it works for you!
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