How to Know When a Decision Is Right
Decisions, decisions, decisions.
I used to dread making decisions.
I would put off making a decision as long as I possibly could. One of two things would happen with this strategy: Someone else would decide for me (and I wouldn’t have a say), or I’d do nothing — which is also a decision. You can see how this is a passive way to go through life and not accomplish much, right?
And when I discovered I was a Libra, I used to blame it on the planets for making me indecisive.
When faced with a choice, my indecisiveness can come from a place of fear — and that fear is usually that I’ll make the wrong decision, the world will come crashing down, and it’ll cause unnecessary chaos in my life. Did I mention how much I love harmony?
I rarely bounce around from decision to decision. I weigh the outcomes of the choices in front of me. It might take a minute. Most often, I’ll need to sleep on a decision to know if it’s right for me.
And once I make up my mind, I rarely go back. I have the ability to see all sides.
You can see how this might become frustrating. I’m also not all that fun to argue with if you like a good argument. I can hold multiple opinions and all sides. This makes perfect sense in my mind, but mostly, it’s frustrating to others.
This is just me, and I’m choosing to see it as a strength.
Since I started paying attention to my intuition (which wasn’t until my late thirties), decision-making started to feel easier for me.
Like a tuning fork, it’s getting stronger. And as I learn to trust it more, it serves me well.
Here’s an example of when I was facing a decision I didn’t have to think about.
In the fall of 2019, I heard about Kate Northrup opening the doors to her annual Origin Incubator program. I don’t remember the day, or what I was wearing, only how I clicked that application button so fast, quickly answered all the questions, and clicked send.
After an interview and a few back and forth emails, I knew I had to join. I gave myself a deadline to join by the end of the week — giving myself a deadline just so that I could be sure.
How was this decision so easy for me?
It was because I trusted my body.
Sure, I think with my own brain, but this goes deeper than that.
When I shut off the noise of my thoughts, drop any ideas of what others might think I should do, and get quiet enough to listen, my body already knows what to do.
When a decision feels good in my body, I know it’s the next right move for me.
Here I am, a year later, and the Incubator experience has been an excellent investment in my business, and absolutely the most important investment in my body and soul.
If decisions feel hard for you, here are some questions to ask to help you decide:
Is this good for me? Then, is it good for people close to me? Will this make me a better person? Will this help me further align with my values?
If I were a character in a movie, what would I want the character to do?
Pretend you’ve chosen — it can be any of the options. What’s your immediate reaction? Excitement or dread? That initial reaction is a clue.
Feeling more confident in your decision-making abilities takes practice.
I practice when it comes to simple questions:
Do I want breakfast today?
Should I join the PTO?
Do I want to do yoga or go for a walk?
Should I drink less wine?
What do I want for dinner?
My answers in short:
No
No
Yoga
No
Tacos
By practicing with quick decisions throughout the day and even minimizing the number of decisions I need to make — cooking a bunch of food on the weekend gives me options and fewer mealtime choices, I can strengthen my decision-making muscle.
I realize many of these decisions might sound super trivial and not all that life-altering. You’re right – they’re not. But over the course of a lifetime, all these small decisions we make add up to a lifetime.
You can practice this by looking at your calendar for the next few days. Looking at each appointment one at a time, which one feels like an obligation, and which ones feel exciting?
Now, as a business owner, not every single thing on my calendar makes me wanna do cartwheels, but most of them feel good. They’re aligned toward my personal and business goals and help me create the impact I want to make in the world.
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